You Don't Miss Your Water
by vinh
Summary: Addison leaves Derek.
1. Chapter 1

**_You Don't Miss Your Water ('Til the Well Runs Dry)_**

_Summary:_ Addison leaves Derek. AdDek.

_Disclaimer:_ The characters are not mine. Only the plot is mine.

_AN:_ Thanks to my lovely beta. You rock on so many levels! _hugs_

There is a part two, its nearly finished. However,I found out two days ago that a close friend of mine passed away and I need some time to deal with that. So, part two of this will be delayed for a little bit.

* * *

The alarm went off at 7 am. Yawning, Derek rubbed the sleep from his eyes and tried to figure out why it felt like something was wrong, or maybe even missing.

He shot straight up in bed as he called out "Addison?"

Not hearing a reply, he got out of bed, dressed quickly and ran outside. He came to a stop when he saw Addison trying to fit the last of her suitcases and boxes into her car. She was really leaving him, and it wasn't in a fit off anger or jealousy. She had made this decision after spending months in his arms and not seeing any fruits brought to labor of his declarations of 'working on it.' Derek had no idea what prompted her decision other than the fact that she was tired of him not seeing or thinking of her. Ironically, since she had told him off her decision the day before, she had been the only thing on his mind.

"Addie?" Derek called.

Addison turned and smiled sadly at him, "Yeah?"

"Are you really going to do this?" Derek said as he made his way over to her, "Seriously?"

Derek saw shiny tears in her red rimmed eyes as she answered, "I have to, Derek. One of us had to make a move. I've been patient and I've been waiting for you to actually see me again. And I found out that I want you to see me all the time, not just once in awhile. But I can't just stay here forever, hoping that the day will come when you'll finally see me full time."

'Oh, Addie," Derek said sadly as he pulled his wife into one last hug.

"God, Derek. I love you so much and I want you to be happy," Addison whispered in his ear as his arms tightened around her.

"Just so we're clear. You leaving me does not make me happy, Addie," Derek whispered back fiercely, "But you staying would make me deliriously happy."

Addison laughed softly through her tears, "But I couldn't be happy if I wasn't the most vital part of your life. And we both know that I wouldn't be."

"Will you at least keep in touch?" Derek said as he buried his nose in his wife's hair as the lump in his throat threatened to choke him.

"I don't think I can," Addison whispered as her tears cascaded down her cheeks, "How can we both move on if we're holding on to the past?"

Derek cupped his wife's face, his thumbs wiping away her tears, "Just so you know. You are the love of my life, and I'm sorry I couldn't tell you earlier. Now go before I throw you over my shoulder and keep you, willing or not."

"Ok," Addison whispered before pressing a long hard kiss to her soon to be former husband's lips, "Be happy!" before she turned and ran to her car. Addison opened the car door and turned one last time to Derek, giving him a sad smile and half-hearted wave.

"Be happy," Derek whispered waving as he watched the tail lights get further and further away. He stood outside for another fifteen minutes, hoping against all hope that Addison would come back. When it became clear that she wouldn't change her mind he headed back inside. He grabbed his cell phone and called Richard.

"Hello? Richard? This is Derek."

"Hello Derek," Richard yawned.

"I can't come in today," Derek said quietly as he crawled back into their bed. The sheets still smelled slightly of his wife's perfume and a last night of passion.

"I know. Addison cleared it with me last night that Dr. Greene would be covering for you for a few days," Richard said in between yawns.

Derek took a shakily breath as he listened to Richard's words. "She left me, Richard. She said she was tired of waiting for me to notice her," Derek managed to mumble around the big lump in his throat, "What am I going to do now?"

"Derek" Richard started to say, "do you need me to come over?'

Derek swallowed hard several times before answering, "No. I just need to get away. I'll call you in a few days," before disconnecting the call.

Derek angrily wiped at the tears that had started to fall as he grabbed a bag out of the closet and started randomly shoving stuff into it. He paused when he saw Addison's wedding rings on the kitchen table before he gathered them and shoved them in his pocket. He locked the trailer before he threw the bag in the back of his jeep. As he settled down into the seat he noticed a paper bad on the passenger seat. Puzzled, he reached for it and peered inside. His eyes widened as he saw a snack items and a note in Addison's handwriting. He stifled a sob as he read, ' _So, you don't fall asleep at the wheel._'  
--

With one last look at Derek in the rearview mirror, Addison tried to keep her tears at bay as she drove to the ferry. Finally, when she sat in her car waiting for it to dock, she leaned her head against the steering wheel and just bawled. A car honk behind her pulled her out of her heartache, alerting her that she needed to move her car onto the ferry. Addison just sat in her car wiping futilely at her tears before getting out and grabbed an old leather coat of Derek's out of the backseat. She pulled it on as she walked to the railing of the ferry boat. She stared out over the water, as she gathered the soft worn coat tighter around her, inhaling its smell. She took a tissue out of her pocket and wiped her eyes before she grabbed on to the railing with one hand, while her other was resting lightly on her stomach.

"We can do this, its better this way. Good bye, beloved," Addison whispered out over the water as she rubbed her achingly bare ring finger.

After Derek had gotten his emotions back under control he drove for many hours, only stopping for gas and bathroom breaks. The sun had just gone down when the day's troubles and heartaches finally caught up to Derek. He tiredly rubbed his eyes when he saw double for a second, realizing that he needed to stop. He took the next exit and pulled up at the nearest motel. After checking in and finding his room, he finally allowed himself to open again the bag of snacks his wife had packed him. Derek frowned as he saw that a few of the items were wet. It took a moment for him to realize that it was the tears running down his face that was making them wet. He collapsed on the bed exhausted, finally allowing himself to grief for what he had lost, for the mistakes made.

The shrill ring of his cell phone ripped Derek out of a lovely dream about Addison. It took a second for him to realize what had woken him. He frantically, reached for his cell phone, hoping that it was Addison.

"Hello?" Derek asked hopeful.

"Derek?" a woman's voice asked.

"Mom?" Derek replied.

"What's going on, honey? We came home to find a message from Addison asking us to call you," Derek's mother replied as Derek heard his father in the background.

Derek closed his eyes as he admitted, "She's gone. She left me."

"Oh! Honey!" His mother exclaimed, "Are you okay? Of course you're not okay….Do you want to come down for a visit?"

"Yeah," Derek sighed sadly as he realized that Addison thought enough of him to have arranged for him to have someone to talk to, "I'll be there in a few days, okay?"

As Derek ended his call, he realized that the only thing that even vaguely helped when he missed his wife was liquor. He called the front desk and was informed that there was a bar just a few doors down.

Derek paused as the smell of the cigar smoke reached him, taking in the shabby looking bar. The air was a thick fog smelling of alcohol and cigar and cigarette smoke that clung to him as he took a seat at the bar. Many shots of tequila later, Derek made his way back to his room, alone but not for the lack of offers. As he collapsed in bed to sleep off the alcohol, his last thoughts were of a smiling red head.

A depressingly sober Derek lay on his bed, hands folded on his chest, staring unseeing at the ceiling, waiting for the sun to rise. The idea of sleep had long fled in the early hours of pre-dawn, even all alcohol he had consumed the night before had not been enough to knock him out long. He closed his eyes, remembering the way she felt, the way she tasted, her warmth surrounding him as they made love. And it had been making love. Derek had given everything he had to her that during their last time together. At the thought of never being with her again, he had been unable to keep his tightly controlled emotions in check. He hoped she had felt his love in every touch, caress and whispered word. For the first time in a very long time, he had felt complete with her, and he wished that they could have stayed that way forever.

--

Her suitcases were at her feet, as an anxious Addison looked around the baggage claim as she waited for her ride. A smile lit up her face as she saw a flash of red hair making their way over to her.

"Addison," a tall redhead called before she threw her arms around Addison, "It's been so long."

Addison had tears in her eyes when they parted, "Allister! How are you? I've missed so much you."

Allister grinned as she teased, "Well, you wouldn't miss me so much if you visited your favorite sister more."

Addison laughed as she hugged her sister again.

"Is this everything?" Allister said picking up Addison's two suitcases, "How was your flight?"

The sun was setting. Derek barely acknowledged the fading light as he sat in his parents' backyard. He hadn't even noticed when the water from the sprinklers started to drench the bottom of his pants. Every once in a while Derek would lift the glass of scotch to his lips, while his other hand Derek absently caressed Addison's wedding rings. His attention was riveted on the photo laying on the table next to a nearly empty bottle of scotch. Tears obstructed his sight as he gazed at his favorite photo of them together. It had been taken nearly thirteen years ago, at the beach. Sav had snapped a photo of Derek giving Addison a piggy back ride. Addison's hair had been longer, her head was thrown back, laughing when Derek had started to kiss up her left arm. He was so lost in his memories and heartache, that he hadn't even realized when his mother had taken him by the hand and guided him to bed.

Later that week, Derek's eyes were narrowed as he beheld his foe. He had been glaring at his opponent for the past hour. He just couldn't even bring himself to look through the divorce papers, let alone make himself sign them. They had arrived by Fed Ex at his parents house three days after he had stumbled home heartbroken. That had been a week ago.

He had spent the first few days after receiving the divorce papers wobbling between anger and despair. He allowed his parents' presence to soothe his hurt and angry ego, their cryptic advice of 'You already know what to do' sounded eerily like Dr. Bailey.

It took a while but he had finally admitted to himself what his heart already knew to be true. Derek had his moment of clarity when he found himself with his head bowed because he had been unable to look himself in the eye. His eyes were squeezed shut trying to stop the tears, hands braced upon the bathroom counter, his chin trembling from holding in his sobs. The tears fell anyway as he acknowledged that he was in love with Addison and it took her leaving him for him to realize that waking up next to Addison, even when they were fighting, was what made his life worth living. He wanted to grow old and wrinkly with her.

Sighing, Derek flipped open the divorce papers to the page that he needed to sign. His tiny shred of hope that Addison would change her mind grew when he noticed that she had yet to sign the divorce papers. For the first time in days, Derek smiled faintly.

"Hello, its Derek. I need a favor," Derek said when the phone was picked up.  
The following conversation was short.

A week later, after many bribes, calling in of favors, and even some begging Derek found out that Addison was not employed at any of the major hospitals in the USA. He even went as far as to call a few of his colleagues in Canada. She hadn't taken a job there either. Puzzled, Derek sat on the couch contemplating his next move.

His father settled down next to him as he suggested, "What about trying her lawyer? He has to know where she is. If you contest a part of the divorce papers wouldn't you both have to meet to discuss it?"

"Dad, you're a genius," Derek said reaching for his cell phone.

--

"Are you ready?" Allister asked Addison as they paused outside the Care Home.

Addison nodded as she followed her little sister down the corridors. She took as deep breath before entering the room after Allister. Tears sprang to her eyes as she took in the pale, thin figure in the bed.

"Hello, Mum," Addison said dropping a kiss in her mother's forehead, "I'm sorry I haven't visited you more often in the past few years."

Allister smiled as she interrupted, "I'm going to check in on some patients. I'll be back in about two hours, okay?"

Addison nodded before taking her comatose mother's hand. She spent the next two hours just telling her mother about her life and about the recent occurrences.

When Allister came back just over two hours later, she found Addison's tear streaked face laying next to their mother's hand on the bed. She smiled at the sight before waking her sister.

When they finally made it home, it was nearly dark.

"This is nice," Addison said as she paused to admire her sister's flat, "Which one is Evander's?"

Allister pointed to a flat on the left, "That's Evander's. The flat on the other side just went on sale two days ago."

When they entered the flat Addison was surprised to see a flash heading towards Allister. Her sister just laughed as she scooped up the child throwing itself into her arms. A tall dark haired man followed.

Addison dropped her stuff as she threw herself into his arms, "Evander!" before bursting into tears.

"Addison, don't cry," Evander whispered as he tried to console his sister, "Want me to go and beat him up?"

Addison laughed weakly as her brother handed her some tissues. After wiping her eyes she turned to look at her nephew.

"Addison, you remember my son, Emerson, don't you?" Allister said smiling softly as she dropped a kiss on her son's forehead, "Emerson, this is your Aunt Addie."

After Derek had finally spoken with his lawyer, he decided it was time to head back to Seattle. He left his parents' house in better shape than when he arrived. For the first time since watching Addison leave, Derek had hope that a better ending was in store for the Addison & Derek story.

Derek paused as he entered their trailer, he swallowed hard before continuing. His eyes glazed over as various memories of Addison doing the most mundane things flashed through his mind. He nearly broke down when he saw that their bed was still unmade, his wife's perfume faintly clinging to the rumpled sheets. Remnants of that one last night of passion. Derek closed his eyes as his hand dug into his pocket to briefly touch Addison's wedding rings, before he grabbed his bag and left to go stay in a hotel.

Three weeks after watching his wife leave him, a tired looking Dr. Derek Shepherd walked into Seattle Grace Hospital. The gossip mills worked overtime speculating on the absence of the She-Shepherd, McDreamy's haggard appearance, and the shiny gold ring that gleamed on his left hand.

Derek was amazed at how many people at the hospital came up to ask him where Addison was, from scrub nurses to Burke, even his 'friend' Meredith. He fended off all queries by saying that Addison was off visiting family for the unforeseen future.

It was a Wednesday afternoon, Derek had just finished a surgery and he was checking his voice mail, hoping for a message from Addison. Instead he had a message from his lawyer informing him that Addison and her lawyer would agree to meeting to discuss and finalize the divorce papers. And would Friday at 9 am be a good time for him?


	2. Chapter 2

_**You Don't Miss Your Water ('Til the Well Runs Dry)**_

_Summary:_ Addison leaves Derek. AdDek.

_Disclaimer:_ The characters are not mine. Only the plot is mine.

_AN:_ Thanks to my lovely beta. You rock on so many levels! _hugs_

_Part 2._

_-_

It was Thursday evening. The week had really dragged on at a snail's pace for Derek. Everywhere he looked, Derek thought he saw Addison, thought that he heard her laughter across the room. Every redhead turned his head, on the off chance that it was Addison. Pretty much all of his dreams starred Addison, and varied from tender to erotic.

In the mornings, his dreams left him wanting, needing to touch her soft skin, to hold her. To have her just smile at him, to sink into her warm embrace.

Derek adjusted the tie Addison had given to him on his 35th birthday, before entering his lawyer's building. After an agonizing slow elevator ride, Derek stepped off the elevator. He nervously slipped his hand in his pocket to touch Addison's wedding rings as he walked up to the secretary. After being informed that his lawyer, Maxwell Banks, would be with him shortly, Derek stiffly sat down in the waiting area with butterflies in his stomach.

Ten minutes later, he was ushered into a conference room. After chatting with his lawyer and the mediator, Jay Morgan, for a few minutes a woman walked in. She introduced herself as Nadine Hunter, Addison's lawyer.

Looking behind Ms. Hunter Derek asked, "Is Addison running late?"

Nadine Hunter took a seat before answering, "She will be joining us via a telephone conference call. Shall we get started?"

Severely disappointed Derek sat down as the lawyers started discussing the finer details of the 'no-fault' divorce. Reiterating how to divide the attorney and mediator fees, what legal path the Shepherds had chosen to follow. The debatable topics were the property settlements, and the possibility of alimony.

Derek tuned out the conversation until the intercom buzzed informing them that Dr. Montgomery was on the line. Derek sat up straighter in anticipation of hearing Addison's dulcet voice over the speaker phone.

After allowing everyone to introduced to his wife, Derek smiled faintly as he greeted his wife, "Hello, Addison."

"Derek. Hello," Addison replied pleased to hear his voice.

Derek could hear the smile in her voice. He sat back marveling at how at ease just hearing her voice made him. He absently played with his wedding ring as he and Addison allowed their lawyers to convey their wishes. When the only thing left on the table was the property settlement, Derek cleared his throat loudly.

Once he had everyone's attention he said, "I'd like a moment to discuss this in private with Addison. Please. Thank you." He waited until the room was cleared before switching from speaker to the cordless.

"Addie?" He asked tentatively.

Addison sighed before answering, "I don't want any part of your land."

"I miss you, Addie," Derek whispered ignoring her words, "I miss waking up next to you. I miss your perfume on the sheets. I miss talking to you."

"Derek," Addison whispered, "Why are you doing this? Just let me go so that you can be happy. With Meredith."

"I'm not with Meredith. She could never make me happy," Derek said as he looked down on his wife's wedding rings in his hand, "I'll give you time if that's what you need. To realize that just because we're not together doesn't mean that you're not the love of my life. A separation, just don't make this divorce final until . . ."

"Until what?" a breathless Addison whispered

"Until I can prove to you that you're it for me and if you would only give me a second chance, I'd never let you down again. I'll never take you for granted again. If after all that time and all my wooing you still want a divorce I will sign whatever papers you want me to."

Addison gasped as his words, "Oh, Derek."

"The only reason I get up in the morning is because there's still a tiny spark of hope that you'll allow me back in your life. That you'll allow me to show you how much I love you," Derek said in rush, "It took you leaving for me to realize that it's you who I want."

With tears in his eyes he whispered, "I've even been wearing my wedding ring." Derek paused when he heard Addison's soft weeping.

"I'm sorry I let you go without a fight, Addie," Derek mumbled around the lump in his throat, "Just let me prove that I'm deserving of your love."

"Derek," Addison said the tears lowering her voice, "You've always had my love, whether you were deserving of it or not. That wasn't why I left. I left because . . ."

"Because of what?" Derek asked frantic as he heard the low murmuring of a voice in the background. 'Okay,' he heard Addison say to someone in the background.

"I have to go," Addison said when she came back to the phone.

"Addison!" Derek whispered fiercely, "Because of what!"

Addison ignored him as she answered, "Okay, I'll give you your separation. I'll get back to you about the wooing. Bye."

CLICK.

"Bye, Addison," Derek whispered to the dial tone. He sighed in relief as he realized that there was a very good chance that Addison would give him a second chance to love her.

_-_

Addison's hand was shaking as she hung up the phone. She took a deep breath before turning to look up at her brother.

"Are you okay?" Evander asked as he settled down next to her on the couch.

"Thanks for getting me off the phone," Addison said as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"No problem," Evander said as he turned on the telly, "How did it go?"

"He…" Addison sighed before continuing, "He wants another chance. He wants this to be a trial separation during which he woos me. And if afterwards I still want the divorce he'll sign whatever papers necessary."

"What should I do?" Addison asked softly.

"Kick his trifling ass to the curb," a voice commented from behind them.

"Seriously, no more rap music for you," Addison smirked at her sister.

"I'm just saying. Why does he expect you to give him a second chance after the half-hearted second chance he gave you?" Allister said as she handed Addison a glass of apple juice, "You gave up a year of your life to live in a trailer with him to work on the second chance on your marriage. You even put up with his snide and petty remarks. And now that you're finally had enough he wants you to give him second chance."

"Logically, I want to tell him Hell No," Addison whispered looking down into the depths of her juice, "But I love him."

"Then make him work for his second chance," Allister replied nudged her sister, "Give him a taste of his own medicine."

Three weeks had almost passed since Derek had pleaded his case to Addison. With every day that passed that he hadn't heard from his wife, Derek's mood got worse. He still hadn't moved back to their trailer. He'd find himself there late at night when the absence of Addison in his life got too bad. Every time he closed his eyes to sleep Addison's face was always there. It got to the point where he it was almost painful to wake up and realize that it had only been a dream and that Addison was gone and not just called in for an emergency.

Meredith had tried to be there for him as a friend, but every time he looked at her couldn't stop comparing her to Addison, and in the back of his mind a thought kept nagging him that if he wanted Addison to give him a real shot he couldn't be 'friends' with Meredith especially when Addison had cut all ties with Mark. In the end he had gone out drinking with Preston a few times, he had even had dinner with Adele and Richard a couple of times. Adele had even come to visit him at the hospital a few times, always bringing with her some delicious cooking. It kept his mind off the fact that he hadn't heard from Addison yet.

But by the end of the third week he had yelled at two interns, reducing one of them to tears, and made snide remarks at anyone who tried to talk to him about anything other than work. Bailey had laughingly shared with him that they were now calling him McDreary and McMiserable behind his back. Derek was not amused.

It was almost a relief to Derek when he was paged to Richard's office bright and early on a Friday morning. After knocking he paused to twist his wedding ring as he waited for Richard to tell him that it was okay for him to come in.

Richard put down his glasses as he watched Derek sink into the chair across from him, he took him how tired and haggard Derek looked.

"This came for you," Richard said as he threw a DHL envelope towards Derek.

Derek stared blankly at the name in the return address. He had expected it to be from Addison. Instead it was from Sav.

He quickly ripped open the envelope to find another envelope inside with a note in Sav's handwriting taped to it. Puzzled he opened the note and read the single line written: _'Addison asked me to mail this to you and No, I don't know where she is.'_

With his heart in his throat gently eased open the second envelope. Inside he found a note:

_Derek,_

_I'm offering you a six-month trial separation instead of an immediate divorce if after that time you still want to woo me I will let you. Should we lay down some ground rules? I'd like it agreed upon that neither one of use has sex with anyone else during these next six months. Perhaps we could exchange emails and see if we rebuild our friendship._

_-Addison_

_p.s. Pick up the phone._

Derek was confused at the p.s. note. He looked up and saw that Richard had left him alone to read Addison's note. Just then the phone on Richard's desk rang. Tentatively he reached for it.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Derek?"

He smiled as he heard Addison's voice, "Yeah."

"Did you get my letter?"

"Just now," Derek said looking down at the note.

"And?" Addison asked softly.

"Okay, I can live with a six-month separation, no sex and only talking to you through email as friends if at the end of that you'll let me woo you."


	3. Chapter 3

**_You Don't Miss Your Water ('Til the Well Runs Dry)_**

_Part 3_

-

_Disclaimer: _Grey's Anatomy and other related characters and ideas are owned, ™ and © by The Mark Gordon Company and Shondaland Productions in association with Touchstone Television and ABC. No copyright infringement is intended. So, don't sue.

_Summary: _Addison leaves Derek. Addek.

_AN: _A big thanks to my lovely beta!  
--

Addison smiled as she read Derek's email. After a moment she clicked the reply button and just sat there with the cursor blinking. A part of her wished that she actually was the woman she pretended to be in her emails to Derek. A self-assured calm woman, who was flirty and playful without being too arrogant and demanding.

Smiling she typed, 'Do you remember our third date?"

Addison's attention was pulled away from the computer as her sister literally skipped past her. Arching an eyebrow she watched in amusement as her sister danced around her house frantically cleaning up. Allister was practically glowing with happiness.

"What?" Allister asked as she caught her sister's smile.

"Are you humming?" Addison laughed.

"No!" Allister denied.

Addison smirked, "I've never seen you this happy to clean. Or could it possibly have to do with a certain wayward husband of yours coming home after two months abroad?"

Allister merely smiled as she said, "I'm so glad that his assignment is over. I have trouble sleeping when he's not there next to me."

"We know first hand how dangerous his job is. I'm surprised you're getting any sleep at all," Addison replied, "I'm still baffled that you picked a man like him to marry."

"What can I say?" Allister said before continuing in all seriousness, "I fell in love with him and now 12 years later, he's still the love of my life. I am scared sometimes that instead of him walking through that door I'll get a phone call saying, 'I regret to inform you'. But I would rather have this life with all its uncertainty then not have followed my heart."

Allister paused as she looked over at her sister and saw that her eyes were wet with unshed tears, "I don't regret a minute of my life. How can I when we have three beautiful children together and so many happy memories."

Walking over to her she handed her a tissue, "If you want him, then let him prove to you that he can make it worth your while. That even when your life is a mess that one, just one look from him, gives you that warm and safe feeling."

"I don't know if I can trust him again," Addison whispered, "I don't think I could handle it if he broke my heart again."

"But what if he exceeded your expectations? Besides I think you already trust him," Allister said before hugging her sister, "Why else would you give him another chance to woo you? Love builds bridges where there are none."

"When did you get so smart?" Addison laughed.

"I've always been smart," Allister pouted playfully before continuing, "Okay, fine. I got it from a fortune cookie."

Addison laughed before turning back to her email.

A few hours later, Addison watched from the window as her sister threw herself into her husband's waiting arms.

Smiling sadly Addison whispered, "Am I still waiting for you, Derek?"

-

It was just before midnight and Addison had been tossing and turning for the past hour, just trying to get to sleep. The urge to hear Derek's voice was overwhelming. Addison sighed before resigning herself to the fact that sleep would be denied until she had heard Derek's voice. After grabbing the cordless phone, she curled up on the couch and took a deep breath before dialing the phone number for Seattle Grace rather than his cell phone. A part of her knew he would most likely still be there.

After assuring the operator that she wouldn't mind waiting while Derek was paged overhead, Addison was put on hold.

-

It had been two months since Derek had agreed to their six-month separation and he still hadn't moved back into their trailer. He had no problems being at the trailer during the day but it was at night when he tried to sleep alone in their bed. He couldn't seem to relax enough to fall asleep in their bed knowing that Addison would not be joining him later. On the rare occasions that he was able to fall asleep usually due to a high volume of alcohol, his dreams were about Addison coming home. Every time he awoke from such a dream, his heart ached until he started to dread going to sleep in the trailer. So, he had finally resorted to renting a small apartment near the hospital for sleeping while spending his free time at the trailer.

It had been a long day and Derek was exhausted as he sat down at his desk. He wanted to check his email before he left for the day.

He smiled as he read Addison's email. Deciding that Addison deserved the truth, he typed 'I was so nervous before that date. I remember thinking that you were almost perfect and perhaps too good for a guy like me. There's always been a nagging thought in my head that you would figure that out and you'd leave me. That's why I left New York. I couldn't handle the thought that you'd leave me because I couldn't hold on to you. That I wasn't enough to keep you happy.'

Derek dialed the operator as he heard his name being paged overhead, "This is Dr. Shepherd returning your page."

"A Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd is on hold for you," the operator answered, "Would you like me to patch her through to this number?"

Surprised Derek answered, "Yes. Thank you."

-

"Hello?" a tired voice asked.

"Derek?" Addison asked smiling.

"Addison," Derek said pleased, "Hi."

"So, do you remember our third date?" Addison asked smiling.

"Yes," Derek laughed, "I was just replying to your email before heading home."

"I remember the sound of your laughter when we entered the Greek restaurant because it so stereotypical. I loved the twinkle in your eyes as you mispronounced your food order. How the vinyl cushion squeaked when you leaned closer to hear what I was saying and when you played footsie with me."

Addison smiled at Derek's words, "That was your favorite part, the footsie?"

"No, my favorite part was when you let me kiss the dessert off your lips," Derek replied with a smirk, "I never truly appreciated Greek food until that night."

Addison laughed, "You would say that."

"Tell me you're at the airport and you need me to pick you up," Derek continued in all seriousness.

"I can't," sighing Addison whispered, "I just needed to hear your voice."

"I'm glad you called," Derek whispered a smile evident in his voice.

Addison debated with herself before asking, "Is it about the chase?"

"No," Derek replied firmly, "I miss waking up next to you, watching you sleep. It's the little things, the juju or looking up in the OR and seeing that you're not there watching me. It's not the chase. It's simply you."

"You're the love of my life and I miss you," Derek smiled as he heard his wife yawn.

"I miss you, too," Addison whispered as another yawn overtook her.

"Call me again?" Derek asked as he tiredly rubbed his eyes.

"Okay," Addison whispered sleepily, "Bye. Love ya."

CLICK.


	4. Chapter 4

_**You Don't Miss Your Water ('Til the Well Runs Dry)**_

_  
Part 4_

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_Disclaimer: _Grey's Anatomy and other related characters/ideas are owned, ™ and © by The Mark Gordon Company and Shondaland Productions in association with Touchstone Television and ABC. No copyright infringement is intended. So, in conclusion: Don't sue.

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Speechless, Derek held the phone to his ear until it started to beep. After hanging up he just sat there staring off into space as he tried to wrap his mind around his wife's absently whispered parting words.

He was startled out of his thoughts by his beeper going off. Sighing, he headed down to the ER. It was nearly 5 am before he finished dealing with all of his emergency surgeries.

His mind drifted as he drove home. Stopping the car, Derek laughed as he realized that he had driven to their trailer rather than his new apartment.

Derek tiredly dropped into one of the chairs perched on the porch; his briefcase was dumped carelessly at his feet. His tired eyes slowly drifted to the distant horizon as he took in the sight of the morning sun peeking over the trees. His mind kept replaying Addison's whispered words. For the first time since Addison had left him he felt that he might actually be able to win Addison back. Derek's mind drifted back to the first time Addison had told him that she loved him. It had been a rare day off and somehow Addison had gotten it into her head that she wanted to watch the sunset set over the ocean. It was late afternoon when they had finally arrived at the beach. Since it had been the middle of winter, the beach was rather empty. As they settled down on a large towel, Addison had entwined her fingers with his and had just started talking about her favorite childhood memory of the beach. It is a rare occasion when Addison decides to share something personal with him, even now. Derek had felt somewhat honored and grateful that she trusted him to keep her thoughts to himself, his smile had encouraged her to continue. She had draped herself against his shoulder before falling silent as they watched the sky start filling with shades of orange, red, yellow and blue. Derek's arms tightened around Addison when he heard her whisper in his ear that she loved him. The rays of the dying sun illuminated her hair, giving her an ethereal look, causing Derek's breath to get caught in his throat. After swallowing hard, Derek managed to whisper back the sentiment before crushing his lips down on hers.

As his thoughts finally came back to reality, the numbing coldness made itself known and Derek made a hasty retreat into the trailer. He sighed as he looked around fondly, seeing Addison in his memory around every corner.

After struggling out of his coat, he plugged in his laptop and turned it on, hoping to fine another email from Addison in his inbox. Disappointed when he found none, he got ready to sleep away the majority of his day off.

It was late afternoon when Derek was woken by someone knocking loudly on the door. Derek cursed as he stumbled out of the bed and moved to the front door.

He asked "Yeah," shading his eyes as he waited for his eyesight to adjust to the sun's dying rays.

"Derek Shepherd?" a man asked gruffly.

"Yeah?" Derek replied to the blurry figure in front of him.

"Sign here," the man replied, handing Derek an electronic device on which to sign his signature.

Derek closed an eye as he scrawled his signature.

"Thank you and enjoy your day," the man replied as he handed Derek a large envelope.

Derek looked down stupidly at the envelope in his hands as the man jumped in his truck and drove off. It took a minute for it to sink in that the return sender's name was Addison Shepherd.

Derek sat down at the kitchen table and noticed that he had a new email. Torn between reading Addison's email or her letter, Derek decided to open the letter first because a nagging voice in the back of his head kept worrying that in spite of the progress he had made in wooing Addison that the letter might still be divorce papers.

He let out a big sigh of relief when he opened the letter and found plane tickets dated for the last weekend in the month instead.

As he read the email his eyes stalled on the sentence 'I'm going to let you woo me for a weekend, I've cleared the time off with Richard."

The next two and a half weeks were a happy blur for Derek. The gossip mills worked overtime trying to speculate about McDreamy's cheerful and generally dreamy demeanor in spite of the continued absence of the She-Shepherd. Bailey had laughingly shared with him at lunch one day that many of the nurses and interns were once again calling him McDreamy behind his back and on occasion in front of patients. Derek was not amused, though this news did not dampen his good mood.

It was a Friday morning and Derek was changing in the locker room, having just finished his last scheduled surgery. Glancing at his watch, Derek smiled when he noticed that he still had three hours before he needed to check in for his flight back east. Hit stomach knotted--in a few short hours he would finally be able to hold Addison in his arms again. Derek placed his beeper in his locker before slamming the door shut and heading to clock out.

With a happy smiled and one last look behind him, Derek made his way out of the hospital. He had just reached his car when he heard his name being called.

Surprised, he looked behind him and saw the Chief rapidly making his way over to him.

"Richard," Derek greeted as he opened his car door.

"Derek," Richard began, "I need a favor before you go."

With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach Derek replied "What is it?"

"I need a consult on case. The patient is very important to me. She fell and a CT was done and a suspicious mass was discovered."

"I'm on my way to save my marriage. Dr. Greene is more than capable of handling it," Derek replied uneasily.

"Ellis Grey deserves the best and that's you. I need you to look at this case," Richard stated firmly.

"Richard," a distressed Derek said, "Don't ask me this now."

"I need you do this consult, Derek" Richard commanded.

"But…but…," Derek started to say.

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